a life less ordinary...

a boring life. why can't I be melania knauss with a young, non-fat donald trump sans the bad, carrot hair.

repeat after me:

i need a bloody boyfriend.
i need a bloody boyfriend.
i need a bloody boyfriend.
i need a bloody boyfriend.
i need a bloody boyfriend.
i need a bloody boyfriend.
i seriously need a bloody boyfriend!

reality hit me when I got up from my nap about 2 hours ago on the floor of my bedroom. I haven't had the maid change my sheets and my bed is full of shite. and really, how your bed looks -no wait- how your bedroom looks tells alot about you!

anyway, as i approach my 21st birthday (and it's too fast i might add!), i came to a certain realization that something in your life is totally whacked!

1) you can have a life beacuse you're still under conscription for the goverment (read: national slavery).

2) you sleep on the floor because your room is just so full of shite!

3) you barely get out of the house. when you do get out of your bird cage, the only people you end up socializing/having some form of a human-to-human contact with are the ones from either the medical (aestheticians, massage therapists, salon stylist, manicure and pedicure ladies) and retail (shop assistants, store managers, door openers, store security guards) industries.

4) you have far too many profiles at various online personals web sites and get far too many messages but you ignore all of them and not take them seriously because you think you're far too superior than all of those junk. (well, not all of them!)

5) you're surrounded by couples. everywhere you go, everything you see that have genitalia is coupled with something. The planet is one huge couples-for-christ convention where everyone's motto is procreation. your friends are either married... or have a bf/gf. (and it sucks!)

6) the only form of intimacy in your life is whenever you snuggle with your bolster and it becomes so weird because after awhile you just imagine that pillow as your lover. ummm.. pathetic much?

7) the only reason you're giving tuition is because your parents refused to provide shopping money cos you've spent too much and charged too much onto their plastic. oh and because you're a high maintenance bitch and needed someone to talk down to.

8) and when you do go out with your friends to go clubbing, you'd rather put on a huge dose of high-voltage pomp, attitude and arrogance instead of being the lonely, desperate-for-a-fuck lonely debbie standing alone at the corner of the club. You shrug off people who show interest because you *never* socialize with mere mortals.

9) and you are actually not too hot about clubbing anymore because you think it's too passe and blah when actually you're sick of seeing people hooking up while you just fend off advances by circling your friends around you.


my god. what a boring life eh?

i'm coming out! i want the world to know!

of course it's not me! i came out ages ago!


mark from westlife is gay!! now.. who didn't know that!? anyway, his boyfriend is some singer from some passe boyband V (who are they?!). he's quite a hot tamale..


anyway, thanks to paris for actually alerting me to this wondrous news. actually it's not so wondrous. he does nothing for me! haha. in any case, we've all known that he is one every since he told the world his favourite singer is the diva herself.. mariah carey!


and paris made a great point about against all odds not doing well anywhere else in the world! there are simply too many queens on one song! haha!

i guess paris, they didn't learn from the first big flop. that of when you believe! i mean.. hello!! bitch please, one crazy diva per crazy screaming song please!

well, it is gay world after all this entertainment industry!

from the back pages...

i find it unfathomable the fixation men have with reading the papers from the back to the front - wait - let me rephrase.. the fixation straight men have with reading the papers from the back to the front. often i indulge my curiosity and began my daily newspaper reading routine starting from the back pages and ending at the front. in all honesty, it's a very tough fight. i find myself not even glancing at the words written but just looking at pictures as i flip through the back pages.

is the writing bad? no, definitely not. nonetheless, i find myself more drawn to the pictures of the men in jerseys or trunks or tennis outfits than i am to the actual written text. honestly, it's not bad writing - i tried reading a couple of lines, but well my eyes averted to some other where- but it's the fact that i have no clue or interest wotsoeva with regards to the topic. it's like reading the main pages of the papers and you come across some big article on the presidential elections (which i still find fascinating why people are even interested to read when there's only one candidate and he'll definitely win! so why bother telling us wot he's good for and all the great things he has done. we know it already!), you just read the headline, look at the pictures, read the captions and move on to the next newsworthy read.

the back pages of any papers (and i mean papers with the sports section at the back) have become all too foreign for me. i cannot tell the ferguson from the gerrard(??) - and i'm actually reading this on the papers now as i type. the only reason i knew who daivd beckham was way back when victoria "posh spice" adams took a fancy to him! before that, i'm a complete dud over wot soccer really is! and some people say being a fan of the spice girls is like being fans of fluffy chicken s**t. i learnt some new things!

nonetheless, i can't help but to find it adorable when the man i'm having an awfully huge crush on reads the paper in the aforementioned manner. i love the look on his face, his expressions when reading the articles. it's like something so intriguing - to him, not me!- and so fascinating. i guess it's those small little quirks that make me fall for straight men. that rough instinct to flip to the back pages once he picks up the papers, the fascination with soccer as a sport he plays with such conviction.

awww, how adorable!

gay men don't even come close! fascination over fashion and skincare and eye brow shaping? please! i don't need another me! go figure!