a life less ordinary...

a boring life. why can't I be melania knauss with a young, non-fat donald trump sans the bad, carrot hair.

repeat after me:

i need a bloody boyfriend.
i need a bloody boyfriend.
i need a bloody boyfriend.
i need a bloody boyfriend.
i need a bloody boyfriend.
i need a bloody boyfriend.
i seriously need a bloody boyfriend!

reality hit me when I got up from my nap about 2 hours ago on the floor of my bedroom. I haven't had the maid change my sheets and my bed is full of shite. and really, how your bed looks -no wait- how your bedroom looks tells alot about you!

anyway, as i approach my 21st birthday (and it's too fast i might add!), i came to a certain realization that something in your life is totally whacked!

1) you can have a life beacuse you're still under conscription for the goverment (read: national slavery).

2) you sleep on the floor because your room is just so full of shite!

3) you barely get out of the house. when you do get out of your bird cage, the only people you end up socializing/having some form of a human-to-human contact with are the ones from either the medical (aestheticians, massage therapists, salon stylist, manicure and pedicure ladies) and retail (shop assistants, store managers, door openers, store security guards) industries.

4) you have far too many profiles at various online personals web sites and get far too many messages but you ignore all of them and not take them seriously because you think you're far too superior than all of those junk. (well, not all of them!)

5) you're surrounded by couples. everywhere you go, everything you see that have genitalia is coupled with something. The planet is one huge couples-for-christ convention where everyone's motto is procreation. your friends are either married... or have a bf/gf. (and it sucks!)

6) the only form of intimacy in your life is whenever you snuggle with your bolster and it becomes so weird because after awhile you just imagine that pillow as your lover. ummm.. pathetic much?

7) the only reason you're giving tuition is because your parents refused to provide shopping money cos you've spent too much and charged too much onto their plastic. oh and because you're a high maintenance bitch and needed someone to talk down to.

8) and when you do go out with your friends to go clubbing, you'd rather put on a huge dose of high-voltage pomp, attitude and arrogance instead of being the lonely, desperate-for-a-fuck lonely debbie standing alone at the corner of the club. You shrug off people who show interest because you *never* socialize with mere mortals.

9) and you are actually not too hot about clubbing anymore because you think it's too passe and blah when actually you're sick of seeing people hooking up while you just fend off advances by circling your friends around you.


my god. what a boring life eh?