it's funny... whenever i open my mouth to lament how lonely i feel (romantically) and that i need a boyfriend, i'm always getting the response that i "have great friends and great prospects." what does that mean? it does not solve anything! actually, it annoys me.
i know they're my best friends and they mean well, yet i don't think they fully grasp what i'm feeling. as much as i treasure my friends and the friendship we share, there will always be this void, this emptiness that no best friend can ever fill. it's a gaping hole so wide that it engulfs every part of me. and i just can't begin to explain it.
yes, i've told myself countless times that i don't need that special person to make me happy because i make myself happy. i tell myself that i have great friends and a family who loves me but each time i tell myself or repeat those words. it's as if nothing was being said. it's as if i was in a vacuum. every word, every emotion, every feeling is lost. and i just float around aimlessly.
i feel trap most of the time. it's like i'm being suffocated. a thin sheath of plastic envelopes my entire being and i'm helpless. i gasp for air but to no avail. this void that i feel refuses to let go of its grip on me.
why can't you understand that the greatest thing in life is to love and be loved in return?
