love actually
i finally told phil how i felt. i was on the verge of breaking down due to the drama that went on last night (read: where from here) and phil was on the phone with me trying to calm me down.
and then it came out. everything. he asked me wot it is that i am hiding, so afraid that others would find out. i told him i am not afriad of others finding out, i was afraid he would find out. and then it came out. everything.
he is just too sweet, too nice, too everything i ever dreamed of. he stayed on the phone with me even though he has an exam to study for. how is it that my life is so tragic. that the people i fall in love with cannot love me back the way i want them to. i told phil everything.
from i can't help falling for him even though i know it'll never be between us to the fact that the smallest little thing i do, reminds me of him and i'd jump over the moon if he had wanted me to. and he knew that. and he's sorry. and i don't want him to be sorry because i put myself through this.
he asked if i was not with anyone because of him. of course not. i was not with anyone even before i knew him! but knowing him and falling for him makes it difficult for me to find someone. more so than ever. because every guy i meet or talk to, has to measure up to phil. which is not fair, i know. but i'm too enamoured to care.
i wished you had never told me that you wanted to send me home that night even though you had told me earlier that you had planned to go back to the hostel. i wish you would have just told me that you wanted to go home too. and that you had something to do at home. because then, it'll make me stop loving you that much.
i don't know why i told him everything. i wasn't even drunk! i can't get drunk because i don't drink. maybe it was the whole drama that happened.
he told me things will never change between us. because i'm too special a friend to lose.
and then my heart sank deeper.
sometimes, i wished you are not as lovely to me.
he's taking me out to dinner on the 16th. shall i go for the dinner?
and then it came out. everything. he asked me wot it is that i am hiding, so afraid that others would find out. i told him i am not afriad of others finding out, i was afraid he would find out. and then it came out. everything.
he is just too sweet, too nice, too everything i ever dreamed of. he stayed on the phone with me even though he has an exam to study for. how is it that my life is so tragic. that the people i fall in love with cannot love me back the way i want them to. i told phil everything.
from i can't help falling for him even though i know it'll never be between us to the fact that the smallest little thing i do, reminds me of him and i'd jump over the moon if he had wanted me to. and he knew that. and he's sorry. and i don't want him to be sorry because i put myself through this.
he asked if i was not with anyone because of him. of course not. i was not with anyone even before i knew him! but knowing him and falling for him makes it difficult for me to find someone. more so than ever. because every guy i meet or talk to, has to measure up to phil. which is not fair, i know. but i'm too enamoured to care.
i wished you had never told me that you wanted to send me home that night even though you had told me earlier that you had planned to go back to the hostel. i wish you would have just told me that you wanted to go home too. and that you had something to do at home. because then, it'll make me stop loving you that much.
i don't know why i told him everything. i wasn't even drunk! i can't get drunk because i don't drink. maybe it was the whole drama that happened.
he told me things will never change between us. because i'm too special a friend to lose.
and then my heart sank deeper.
sometimes, i wished you are not as lovely to me.
he's taking me out to dinner on the 16th. shall i go for the dinner?
the holy book (revised) @ 7:46 AM
2 Comments:
hey there.. chanced upon ur blog..
u're so lucky he's willing to stick with u..its ironic how u can't be together but at least take pride in the fact that u still can remain friends(tho its reallie painful)..
i'm in a relationship with another girl and it's been explicitly stated that if we break up, we can't remain friends coz it would be too painful.. but i reallie want to be her best friend..
gosh.. why am i telling u all these? sorrie abt that..
just wanted to let u noe that u're not going thru this alone..
its the case of Same shit, different pple(Sex)...ahahaha..
you take care..
hey there chloe!
yeah, it's tough isn't it.. the pain is just unbearable and even more so magnified when you're around the person..
i hope the two of you work things out well.. (:
u take care too!
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