confessions on a dancefloor

it's been ages since i last clubbed. it was that fateful mariah tribute night @ happy. i'm feeling the itch. i'm feeling the itch to dance, writhe on the dance floor. grind bodies with faceless strangers and if i'm lucky/unlucky get to be snogged by a complete stranger again.

i'm not sure wot provoked such a desire to go clubbing again. i've long decided that i'm far too tired to keep on clubbing but once in a while when life throws you lemons.. you know the saying.
i guess partly was due to my rift with phil. i'm still a little bit upset with him but i know i'll get over it. i know that i'll wake up and realize how silly i was to be affected by this. i mean, come on, he's straight! it's obvious i won't be in his mind.

but who am i kidding? i need to get out of feeling this way. i'm so desperate to forget him, to stop loving him that i'm afraid i might just do anything on impulse. i might take a chance on alcohol. hey, baby steps! i might be slightly upset but i'm not going to go out and get myself into a one night stand! alcohol is a big thing for me if i ever try it!


bleargh! i need to go shopping but my bank account balance looks bleak. i can't go and ask my mom for my other atm because then she'll know i've been spending too much money and will stop my spending with immediate effect.

i need a boyfriend. a real one. one who loves me back the way i love him! a gay one. a tall tanned gay one. no, i need a...

phil