midweek
it's a wednesday morning. i'm at home and definitely not at work. i'm wondering how things are going at the office. great, i suppose since my phone hasn't jumped off it's base with the office boys screaming for my help over at the other end. it's rather nice being able to wake up in the morning and know that you have the whole day to yourself.
i took a chance on something yesterday. i gave out my number to this guy who was very persistent on wanting to have a phone conversation with me. i've never really done that before and so i had to muster alot of courage before i actually typed out the 8 numbers that make up my mobile number.
he is 42 and owns some big companies in chicago, malaysia and wherever else he said. over the phone he sounded very smart and very professional - traits of a man mature in his age i suppose. he's short though. 1.68cm short to be exact. that already has a big neon signboard screaming NO at me. i'm not prejudiced against short people but i'm 6'2 or 6'3, i don't exactly know the correct measurement, and the image i'm visualising in my head with regards to him and me going out, makes me either want to bawl my eyes out or puke. it's so weird. i'm 20 and he's 42, i'm that tall and he's that short!
i mean, i'm sure he's worth alot of money. we spoke on the phone for about an hour and a half and he was in chicago and i am here.. in singapore! many a times, he made it clear that money wasn't a problem to him at all. but all the money in the world aside, i don't see myself being wth him. you know?
he had expected that perhaps a relationship with me would follow, in time to come of course, after this conversation. but i cannot even envision myself being with him. a friend, yes. a lover, big no. what is it that i am suppose to do when i want a hug? bend down?
and yet, there's a certain something that attracts me to him. perhaps it's his wit and how smart he sounds. looks aside, i much prefer a man who can hold a good conversation with me. it's that smartness that comes with age and maturity.
he wants to bring me out for dinner. i'm not sure. i don't want to appear like as if i could be bought. but there's something in me that is telling me to take the chance. afterall, i gave him my number. why not take another step and have that dinner? perhaps i will.
---
i'm missing nicolas. he has gone away to some nature reserve in china. i'm not sure when he's coming back.. soon i hope.
why is it him that i'm falling for? don't i know that it could never happen between us?
i took a chance on something yesterday. i gave out my number to this guy who was very persistent on wanting to have a phone conversation with me. i've never really done that before and so i had to muster alot of courage before i actually typed out the 8 numbers that make up my mobile number.
he is 42 and owns some big companies in chicago, malaysia and wherever else he said. over the phone he sounded very smart and very professional - traits of a man mature in his age i suppose. he's short though. 1.68cm short to be exact. that already has a big neon signboard screaming NO at me. i'm not prejudiced against short people but i'm 6'2 or 6'3, i don't exactly know the correct measurement, and the image i'm visualising in my head with regards to him and me going out, makes me either want to bawl my eyes out or puke. it's so weird. i'm 20 and he's 42, i'm that tall and he's that short!
i mean, i'm sure he's worth alot of money. we spoke on the phone for about an hour and a half and he was in chicago and i am here.. in singapore! many a times, he made it clear that money wasn't a problem to him at all. but all the money in the world aside, i don't see myself being wth him. you know?
he had expected that perhaps a relationship with me would follow, in time to come of course, after this conversation. but i cannot even envision myself being with him. a friend, yes. a lover, big no. what is it that i am suppose to do when i want a hug? bend down?
and yet, there's a certain something that attracts me to him. perhaps it's his wit and how smart he sounds. looks aside, i much prefer a man who can hold a good conversation with me. it's that smartness that comes with age and maturity.
he wants to bring me out for dinner. i'm not sure. i don't want to appear like as if i could be bought. but there's something in me that is telling me to take the chance. afterall, i gave him my number. why not take another step and have that dinner? perhaps i will.
---
i'm missing nicolas. he has gone away to some nature reserve in china. i'm not sure when he's coming back.. soon i hope.
why is it him that i'm falling for? don't i know that it could never happen between us?
the holy book (revised) @ 9:07 AM
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