crumbling down..

i never thought 8 years of friendship would be so fragile. our friendship is in shamble. i want to blame it all on external factors - lack of communication, miscommunication and all that other bullshit. but honestly, i can't. because i truly believe we are all at fault.

i cannot accept wot you said to me. i never will. yes i was angry but did you think i'd stay that way forever? how can i remain angry at one of my closest friends? i've moved on from being angry now to a feeling of pure disappointment.

disappointed at the fact that you assumed we believed that you were insignificant in our decision making. disappointed because you rake up the past even though i have looked past it when i asked you out. can't you see that i really cannot be bothered to be fighting with you? after coming out of a long and arduous journey with jin, i really don't want to fight with anyone - period. it's just too exhausting.

i really think we don't know each other. actually i thought i know you, but after all these, i realised i don't. i now realise that between you and me, our relationship is nothing but superficial. only skin deep. nothing more than that. it's sad for me to be typing this because i really think we don't know each other at all. and there you are claiming to be the wounded victim.

i just can't be bothered anymore. i'm not going to grovel at your feet. i'm not going to even ask. i know paris is trying his hardest to salvage this. but like i told him, it takes two hands to clap (or in our case three)! we can't do anything if you are unwilling. and the blame is not only on us. it really takes two to tango. so, honestly. i've had enough.

paris seemed to think that i've become cold and can easily drop my friends no matter wot. i don't think so. i think i'm just jaded. my friendship is not appreciated.