crazy little thing called love...

sigh, the more i see cute couples, the more i feel so inadequate as a person. it's as if they are testaments to how pathetic my life is. i need to have that special someone. not to make me feel more fullfiled or to satisfy my desire to have a special someone. but to just fall in love and have that person love you back.

maybe i'm doomed to be alone. maybe it's my yuen fen.. to wander around with no purpose. perhaps my purpose is to be alone? sigh... i'm not sure why i'm feeling this way. it's too ridiculous to comprehend.. should i even begin to entertain such thoughts?

i'm only 20, a full life awaits ahead of me. is it possible that it's not the right time for me to meet that special someone? or it's not the right time for that special someone to come into my life? but i hate this waiting. sitting around waiting for the right one to come along. it's like being in limbo. you're dead but not completely. dead enough to walk around like zombies, but alive enough to yearn for that moment that could revive you..

love, i guess is that moment that i yearn, that i crave. it's those shock waves that jolts you back to life. resuscitate your lifeless yet still quite alive limbs.

it's strange this need or desire to be loved or to be in love. i could never fully fathom it. but i guess, not until i'm in such a situation. oh how i long to fall in love.

i'm not sure if these feelings were triggered by the meeting i had with sheila and jon. oh, of course it does! he was so nice. so attentive to her. i yearn that attention. and it didn't hurt that he was hot and eurasian! argh.

why must life set out hurdles for you, when they know you will trip and stumble?